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 | How DO you impress a babe these days, babeluvers? It’s just soooo difficult. Never fear – babeboss is here. And I’ve come up with a cunning plan to impress even those hard-to-please babes…I’ll take somewhere they’ve never dreamed of going before! |
| Rihanna – The Burning Man, Nevada, USA |
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Where do you take Rihanna to impress her? I mean, she’s from Barbados – which is itself heaven on earth and she’s toured the world singing, so how do you beat that? Ok, Rihanna, pack your glad rags, we’re off to see the Burning Man! What’s the Burning Man? I’m not exactly sure but me and Rihanna are off to the Black Rock Desert in Nevada and join the amazing community there where anything goes. Ish. It’s all a bit Wicker Man, a festival like no other, culminating in the Labor Day holiday in the first week in September with the symbolic ritual burning of a giant effigy of a man. Rihanna will be amazed. We’ll go to Nevada, live on the earth, commune with nature, enjoy the organic music, food and entertainment, drink the local brew, find peace with the world, ourselves and eachother and dance like dervishes until dawn as the man goes up in flames. Rihanna may never want to leave my heart. Vote for Rihanna |
| Ana Ivanovic – Ballooning, Alice Springs, Australia |
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I’ve always wanted to take Ana Ivanovic up, up and away….and as she’s not thrilling in any big tennis tournies I reckon it’s a good time to take the hottest sports babe on the planet somewhere even hotter. The Serbian sizzler’s been all over the world serving aces and sends babeluvers’ heads into the clouds whenever she skips on court in her little white dress, so now it’s my turn to take her into the clouds instead. Yep, I’m planning to whip Ana off to the other side of the world and land plum in the middle of Australia. We’ll check into a nice hotel, drive out into the wilderness, get into the balloon and off we go into the sky sipping champagne and watch the kangaroos hopping about as we sail above the amazing desert and become consumed by one of the most romantic experiences you can have with your clothes on – sunrise in the middle of nowhere. And afterwards Ana will be mine forever. |
| Charlize Theron – Bog Snorkelling, Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales, UK |
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Hmmm…it takes a lot to surprise and impress Charlize Theron. The South African stunner is gorgeous, obviously, but she famously doesn’t like to be called a pin-up or a babe – she’s a serious actress, darling. And I’ve got a serious challenge for her. I’m planning to take Charlize away from it all to a decidedly unglamorous part of Welsh Wales – to the smallest town in Britain, Llanwrtyd Wells in Powys to be precise – for the annual bog snorkelling championship. THEN we’ll see how hardy Charlize is. Believe it or not, bog snorkelling is a serious business in Llanwrtyd Wells and during the last weekend in August they come from all over the world with snorkels and flippers to burrow their way through a 60-yard trench cut out of a peat bog in the fastest time possible. Will Ms Theron don wet suit and flippers. Of course she will and once she’s showered we’ll go somewhere cosy and Charlize will be me darling. |
| Angelina Jolie – Swimming With Dolphins, Marsa Alam, Egypt |
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Okay here’s a tip, babeluvers. What do all babes – bar none – find totally irresistible? The answer is dolphins. Trust me. Every babe in the world adores dolphins and even the most elusive and haughty babe in the world goes gooey and moist-lipped faced with the prospect of swimming with dolphins. I’ve always wondered how to win the heart of the wondrous Angelina Jolie and wrestle her from the affections of Brad Pitt and now I’ve figured out how to do it – I’ll take her swimming with dolphins in the gorgeous turquoise waters on the Red Sea coast of Marsa Alam, Egypt. There are about 300 spinner dolphins there who will be almost delighted as me to meet Angelina in her swimsuit – they love playing and swimming with people and I can guarantee Angelina will have the time of her life. Might have to bring the nanny to look after the twins but hopefully she’ll be hot too. |
| Tamara Ecclestone – Body Painting, Daegu, South Africa |
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Here’s a good one that no self-respecting babe can resist – especially not Tamara Ecclestone. Being the daughter of Formula One racing boss Bernie Ecclestone and his stylish Croatian wife Slovia, Tamara is used to visiting the world’s most glamorous hot-spots for Grand Prix races, not to mention for her own career as a fabulous model, TV presenter and socialite. Is anywhere in the world the 24-year-old beauty hasn’t visited? Well, I happen to know she’s never been to the World Bodypainting Festival in the exciting city of Daegu, South Korea. Time to put that right then! Tasty Tamara will swoon when she sees the fantastic designs as contestants arrive from all over the world compete in this colourful and unusual event. This is exotica gone crazy and in this amazing atmosphere I reckon Tamara will be inspired to indulge in a bit of body art herself. We may have to experiment in the privacy of a hotel room. |
| Cheryl Tweedy – Birdwatching, Cyprus |
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No, SERIOUSLY. I’ve been fretting for ages how to help the luscious Cheryl Tweedy relax and cheer up after all the strains and stresses of touring with Girls Aloud and wondering whether to stay with or dump her straying footie star hubby Ashley Cole (I still haven’t forgiven him for leaving Arsenal for Chelsea let along what he did to Cheryl, the cad!) She needs to be treated sensitively and communing with nature on the glorious island of Cyprus will cleanse her soul and put the rouge back on her cheeks. I’m no twitcher but what could be more wholesome than a leisurely study of the 350 or so different species of exotic birds to be found in Cyprus, probably the best place in the world for viewing our feathered friends. The best time is in the migrating months between August and October so there will be plenty of time for Cheryl to chill and open those doe eyes and telling me all her troubles. |