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 | Is it only me who finds something really REALLY erotic about babes in ski suits? Those suits are tight and clingy and make babes look hot even when it’s cold. Then, again, I know the delights inside those suits! So who shall I take out on the piste? |
| Kelly Brook - Samoens |
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Samoens in the French Alps. Yep, that’s the only place to take one of the classiest babes I know on our romantic trip to the piste. I mean, Kelly Brook is the ultimate chameleon. Stick her in a boiler suit wearing a miners helmet and she’ll still look fantastic, so Kelly in ski wear is a real fantasy come true – I’ll take her up the slopes any day of the week. Apart from anything else, Samoens is one of the most beautiful towns in France, set in the lovely Vallee du Giffre, so what could be a more perfect combination? Beautiful town, beautiful girl and a beautiful costume to accentuate Kelly’s colossal curves. They even have nine chapels there so if I can persuade her to forget that she’s already promised to another, we might even end up getting married. A long shot, I know, but that après-ski business can be a powerful aphrodisiac after a good rumble in the snow, so who knows? Kelly could yet return as Mrs Babeboss. |
| Cameron Diaz - Val-d’Isere |
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Cutie Cameron Diaz would, of course, look great in anything so I’m looking forward to seeing her wiggling that deliciously pert little backside of hers in tight ski pants as we head up to the French resort of Val-d’Isere for some top notch slipping and sliding. We’re only a couple of miles from the Italian border so it’ll be a chance for me to introduce this San Diego sizzler to our European ways of keeping warm in the cold snow. We’ll mount the peaks and slide down again and then we’ll retire to one of the resort’s famous chalets for a more private debrief on the day’s sport. Who needs a ski lift when you’ve got Cameron Diaz in your chalet to share a hot toddy and a private slalom. In Val-d’Isere the most famous slope is called the glacier de pissaillas and yep, that’s exactly where I’m gonna take Cammie. A pox on you Justin Timberlake, I’m gonna make Cameron Diaz mine, all mine! |
| Emily Scott - Courchevel |
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Emily Scott’s always up for a bit of sport so I shouldn’t have any trouble persuading her to accompany me to Courchevel in the heart of the French Alps for some fun on the slopes. From where she comes from, Emily is rather more familiar with surfing than snow diving but Aussies are famous for being game for anything and the luscious pouting Em will light up Courchevel when she slips into her special outfit. Oh and the ski suit. Well, she was voted sexiest woman in Australian recently so there should be some excitement on the piste when Em makes her entrance and executes a few jumps. Maybe we’ll get her to do the splits just to add to the fun. The thrills should start even before we get to the mountain – Courchevel Airport has one of the shortest runways in the world so I can imagine the divine Emily clinging on to my arm and screaming in my ear as we come into land. I look forward to more screaming throughout our day together. |
| Triana Iglesias - Verbier |
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The sumptuous Triana Iglesias is the sort of babe you can take anywhere and put in any situation and she will turn heads. I’m already imagining seasoned skiers crashing into trees and causing landslides when Triana wobbles down the mountain in that VERY sexy way of hers. Poor Triana just can’t help herself – she’s just a sex bomb and that’s all there is to it. Men will fall off mountains whenever she appears on the horizon whether they’re wearing ski boots or not. I must just remind Triana to wear more clothes than she normally does when we go out together – she just loves to show off her flesh, but it can be mighty cold where we’re going and I don’t want her freezing her bits off. Oh yes, where ARE we going? I’m taking Triana to the fabulous resort of Verbier in the Swiss Alps where lots of famous people like to go out on the piste, among them Diana Ross, Fergie (that’s the former English princess, not the volcanically hot babe and Black Eyed Peas singer sadly) and, er, James Blunt. Actually I owe him one so once I’ve finished entertaining Triana I’ll be off to find that Blunt character and having a word in his ear about his unwanted attentions on Petra Nemcova and other babeland beauties. Just keep your eyes off Triana, Blunt – she’s mine! |
| Zdenka - Alpbach |
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Ah, the fabulous Zdenka Podkapova. I just love murmuring that name. Zdenka Podkapova, Zdenka Podkapova, Zdenka Podkapova…I should have plenty of opportunity to practise it, too, when I take her on the slopes at the fantastic resort of Alpbach in Western Austria. My favourite Czech Republican will feel perfectly at home in this picturesque old village where we can go off piste to escape the crowds and have our very own private slalom. And then we’ll have our own private piste party. I must say I’m looking forward to spending quality time with Zdenka, who’s a bit of a mystery babe to a lot of us. There’s something of the Mona Lisa about the way she looks enigmatically at the camera in her photo shoots and she always seems to avoid the high profile events and indeed the scandals that get some of the other girls in the papers all day. What makes Zdenka tick, eh? What will it take to melt her on the mountain? At the moment, babeluvers, I really don’t know but one thing’s for sure – I certainly aim to find out. I’ll be reporting back very soon with the results… Vote for Zdenka |
| Vikki Blows - Pila |
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Oh yeah, the fabulous Vikki will be blowing alright when I take her up the Pila. No – I’m not being smutty. It’s nothing to do with ordering rice for the curry either. Pila – in Italy - is one of Europe’s most sensational ski resorts, an Alpine setting with unreal views of Mont Blanc and Grand Combin that is so spectacular it’s marketed as “skiing in the sky.” Well, I know if I take the lovely Vikki Blows there she will take me all the way to heaven. I discovered Vikkie quite a while ago now and I’m delighted to see her career as a dark-haired alternative to the parade of big-breasted blonde Brit babes and, let’s not be modest, I reckon I played a small part in that rise. So yes, me and Vikki riding down the slopes together in pretty Pila does it for me. And I know that Vikki likes to let her hair down at the end of the day, so when she gets back to the chalet and rips off her ski outfit, then the party REALLY begins. |