Babeboss Speaks - SAM v KEELEY

SAM v KEELEY
THE GREATEST BABE BATTLE OF THEM ALL…

We’ve had some thrilling battles of the babes on babe100 in our time but few have caught babeluvers’ imaginations quite like the head-to-heads between two Page 3 Idol winners, our babe of the year Keeley Hazell and fabulous new babe on the block Sam Cooke. They’ve been slugging it out for four weeks now with Sam Cooke, the new babe on the block, just getting her magnificent breasts in front of Keeley’s equally magnificent breasts for four weeks, until Lucy Pinder snuck in to beat them both. Blur v Oasis, Rangers v Celtic, Bush v Gore and Hatton v Mayweather have nothing on Sam v Keeley. Voting figures went through the roof as these two stunners squared up to one another and the world’s babeluvers have been on tenterhooks each week waiting to find out who’ll come out on top.
I’m close friends with both babes, obviously, and as I adore them both, I find it impossible to pick a favourite between them. But to help you decide where to place your vote, I’ve compiled an insiders guide to their greatest assets.

BREASTS
	Keeley Undoubtedly Keeley’s greatest feature. Her natural 32E whoppers have been mesmerising babeluvers since they first hit Page 3 four years ago. They remain one of the wonders of the world. Top sculptor Leigh Heppell has made three cast sculptures of her prize globes. 10/10 Sam Undoubtedly Sam’s greatest feature. Her 30F pair of juicy giants are the stuff of babeluving dreams, perfect in every way and two of the main reasons for Sam’s sudden rise to glory. ebay is currently flogging a signed bronze bust of Sam’s breasts with a starting price of £500. Cheap at the prize. 10/10

VOICE
	Keeley From Lewisham in South East London, Keeley has a soft, seductive voice which any of us with a fertile mind can fondly imagine whispering naughty things in our ear. Not quite the Queen’s English but attractive enough. 6/10 Sam Sam is from just outside Manchester and has a distinctive northern lilt to her voice, full of character and colour without being too Liam Gallagher. We can only fantasise about how it sounds when she gets excited. 7/10

PERSONALITY
	Keeley Always friendly, Keeley’s a bit on the shy side, but she has a lively sense of humour too and I’ve always found her very flirty and cuddly. But then we are VERY close friends… 7/10 Sam Sam’s assured, confident, warm and witty – the sort of babe you can have a serious conversation with one minute, a good laugh with the next…and you’d hope something rude with the next. 8/10

LIPS
	Keeley I love it when Keeley pouts. Her lips aren’t too big but they are very kissable. 6/10 Sam Lovely thin shapely lips…when Sam’s lips glisten she looks even hotter. 7/10

BOTTOM
	Keeley Boobs are, of course, Keeley’s big thing – literally – but her rump’s not half bad either. Deliciously shapely. I have to try very hard to avoid the temptation of grabbing it when we’re out together… 9/10 Sam Small but perfectly formed, the Cooke posterior is slender and shapely, complementing her superb figure, though for obvious reasons it’s not the first thing you look at when you see her. 7/10

PROFILE
	Keeley Well, she is our babe of the year, a princess of babes and darling of the big-breasted Brits for a while now, so she’s a bit of a national treasure. She’s also got involved in eco issues. 7/10 Sam The new kid on the block and current Page 3 Idol, Sam has quickly become one of babeluvers’ faves, although she still has some way to go to catch Keeley in the fame stakes. 5/10

INTELLIGENCE
	Keeley Far from being the airhead bimbo many assume, Keeley’s smart, even though she left school at 16 to be a hairdresser and admits she was a bit of a wild child and suffered from dyslexia. Don’t expect to see her on Mastermind any time soon though. 6/10 Sam Very sharp-witted, Sam was at university studying architecture when the Page 3 Idol crown landed on her head, so she’s a cut above most models when it comes to the little grey cells. Coincidentally, Sam is also dyslexic. 8/10

PARTYING
	Keeley I like a babe who likes to party and Keeley does have quite a history, even if it’s occasionally attracted dodgy headlines. There was the whole Joe Cole thing and we won’t even mention that sex video on the internet. Oops, we just did. 8/10 Sam There’s nothing Sam likes better than a nice bottle of wine and she knows how to enjoy herself, but she’s not the type to be falling out of clubs at 3am. Not on school nights anyway! 6/10

COME TO BED EYES
	Keeley Keely can be outrageously flirty, of course, and when she gazes at you with those doe eyes, you’d happily give her the world. But her true allure isn’t fully expressed until she comes to life in front of a lens. 6/10 Sam Oh Sam…what lovely big eyes you have. All the better to devour you with, my darling! Yep, if her twin towers don’t get you, then her eyes will. You’ll drown in them in seconds! 7/10

ALL ROUND SEXINESS
	Keeley What are we gonna say? She’s babe of the year, has been your #1 choice for most of this year until now and the steam is pouring off our computer just by typing her name. 10/10 Sam So she hasn’t been around long and she may not be fully aware of what she’s got, but heavens to betsy, she’s got it! Every inch of her fabulous body screams SEX APPEAL. 10/10

THE RESULT

KEELEY 75

SAM 75

Amazingly, then, it’s a draw! Sitting on the fence? Moi? Only one thing for it – who wants a re-match?

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